my every and only intention was to breastfeed my girls, mostly because it was best for them (and, me!) and the milk is perfectly designed for that baby’s age (God really thought of everything!)! also, i wanted to breastfeed since they’d be preemies, and it would only benefit them more… meaning, they already held a disadvantage to other full-term babies by being delivered sooner… less time to develop.
immediately, following my babies' birth, i was unable to BF them. they were taken straightaway to the NICU, given formula with granted permission by my husband, and i was recovering in the recovery room and later in my room. following a spinal, you really lose ALL feeling in your legs for several hours... such a strange feeling. i think that i mentioned before how nervous i was that i was going to lose feeling permanently... and, i was SO thankful when it returned. :)
anyway, when i got to my room, i found out that they were being given formula! NOT.PART.OF.MY.BIRTH.PLAN! those birth plans often get thrown out the window when you have serious situations take place, such as babies in the NICU! i quickly asked for a pump, and to start pumping (had nowhere to go until i regained feeling in my legs and felt better to go see our girls). they gave me the attachments and the hospital grade double electric breast pump, medela symphony.
first of all, this machine was AWE-SOME (i'll get into this later)! very quiet and quite efficient! i pumped, and it was... WEIRD.
my girls are going to be doing this?
how does it feel? i was asked.
weird. no other explanation.
i started pumping... just for stimulation. the following day is when i got some colostrum, and i was beyond thrilled! i put it in a little bottle and took it down to the NICU. i remember feeling a bit embarrassed when i saw how much formula they were being given (up to 20-30cc's), and here i stroll in (or, shall i say pushed in my wheelchair) with my itty bitty bottle of C... maybe 10cc's (ml's, one-third of an oz) yet, the nurses didn't care! they were so happy that i even had something! they took the tiny amount and inserted into the girls' mouths with small syringes. of course, they followed with formula. no! i hated seeing that, and it only gave me more motivation to try and give them milk. still, mine was still on its way to grace me with its presence. :)
meanwhile, i kept pumping, and finally had a breakthrough two days later. i started to get quite engorged; it feels AWFUL! it feels like marbles/little saucers are layered all in/around your boobs... and they start to get rock hard. it was so painful. it also happens FAST. one night, i was telling my husband and mom that they were feeling quite full, and then, BAM!
ding-dong! i've arrived for your little ones! lol
i guess we really are going to do this BFing thing! lol
at this point, the girls were brought up to our room after being discharged from the NICU, so, i started to try and BF once my "milk" came in. it still felt like i had some colostrum, and maybe some milk.... the first question i was asked was...
after i winced, of course...
how does it feel? does it feel good?
WEIRD. oh yeah, it feels awesome! (sarcasm)
since they were preemies, they were more immature with their latching, suckling... throughout my entire stay, i saw four lactation consultants. i had never BF before, so it felt quite strange and i think i may have looked quite silly. it's like:
how do you position her? without looking stupid? lol
and
gimme some credit... it's my first time. i only can try one baby for now... sorry about the other one next door in her own NICU room. i'll try her next.
the girls wouldn't stay latched or we'd have trouble with the latching, i'd have to get them on/off again, and it was very time-consuming. yet, they did start to catch on! the LCs helped, but mostly, it was motherly instinct... you learn how to hold your boob so the baby can latch on (like a sandwich in her mouth), you feel if it's incorrect because it won't drain your boob. a lot of it is paying attention to the smallest of details/mistakes.
by my second real day of breastfeeding, i tried tandem breastfeeding football-style (top left). for feeding them simultaneously, you need TONS of pillows. thankfully, the hospital has many of them to share :) (at home, i use the Double Blessings' ez-2 Nurse). for breastfeeding, you need help for them to latch on if you're new. with twins? you definitely need help especially if you want to feed them tandem. you get one on, and then have help getting the other on.
it's not as hard as it looks. i was DETERMINED. yes, i mean, it's challenging, but honestly? the most time-consuming part is getting the girls in their positions beside you (on both sides) and the pillows/seating in order. everything else just falls into place. i heard a joke or some comment somewhere that we purposely have two boobs to breastfeed twins. LOL! :) it's nice to BF both at the same time because you save time and your getting relief in both at once... plus, you get to look down, see your little creations and you're just in awe of whom you delivered.
meanwhile, i was still pumping in-between feeding them... at night, when they'd wake up, which was just about every two hours (sometimes, one hour!), i'd ask my husband to bring me a baby to feed her... we lost so much sleep those nights... lol. but, i was adamant that i didn't want them to have formula if i could feed them. i needed to feed as much as possible for MY relief... not just for them.
i didn't pump as much i should have in the hospital, though... towards the end once my milk came in (remember, i was there for seven days postpartum). take advantage, though! BF/pump/BF/pump/BF/pump! that's all you feel that you do in the beginning! it's like... FEED, FEED, FEED, FEED... and, sometimes they take FOREVER to latch/eat, etc... stick with it. it's well worth it.
even though i had many postpartum complications at this rate, i was still determined as ever to BF once we got home… my goal was to BF exclusively…
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